Perhaps

Alright- I'm done being a little brat now. I'm back to being a(n almost) grown up and simply incredibly excited I have this possibility in front of me. Yeah I have absolutely no idea what is in my future and yeah I have to go back to being patient- but I have a real, legitimate chance to go realize my dream. That's pretty darn neat. And I'm pretty darn excited.

I'm also incredibly grateful for the encouragement I've been given today. I love and appreciate them dearly, but all the people I spoke with yesterday were incredibly practical people. And as much as I know that I need practicality- today I need to be the incredibly unrealistic, ridiculously hopeful Annie Mae.

Jen, our youth pastor, brought up a really good point- you pray and then it's done. Then you give thanks because you know God will provide. That's it. So if I'm praying that God shows where I'm being called and where I can serve best this summer if that is in Africa then it's done and I need to trust that.

It's really amazing how provocative (and fitting) the song "Wedding Dress" has been this week.
"So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide"
How can I profess to have faith but not trust in in the Lord to provide? How can I throw myself into serving God if I don't trust where he is leading me? I guess it is time to fall even further into grace, to start truly trusting. It is Holy Week after all- If at any God's plan needed to be trusted, it's this week. Jesus is about to be brutally murdered, but he has to trust that through his death he can conquer death.