Ruach Elohim

I was walking across the Washington Avenue bridge today and something really hit me. Maybe it's because now that it's daylight's saving time I was walking into the sunset, maybe it's because it is starting to feel like spring or maybe it's because I have so my to process from yesterday and this morning. Whatever it was, for the first time in much too long I noticed the wind. I definitely have noticed the wind chill the past couple of weeks, but it has been a very long time since I've noticed it otherwise.

The Hebrew word used for Genesis that has been translated into our Bibles as "spirit" is the same word that is used for wind. The first image of God in the Bible is of wind, of motion, of restlessness. All through the scriptures, God is restless. God is never letting the world be, even when things may be going reasonably well. God is not about to settle for anything less than the world being an embodiment of his divine love.

Feeling the wind this afternoon I realized how long it has been since I have truly appreciated something as beautiful. How long since I have experienced something so powerful I've gotten goosebumps. How long it has been since I've been honest with myself.

For months I've been incredibly restless and felt as if I have no where to go with it. Of course, my restlessness only grew. I became so incredibly frustrated. So, like all of my brilliant plans that end up failing, I decided to ignore it in hopes that I would wake up one morning and not be restless anymore (well, the quasi-hope because my greatest fear is that very thought). Obviously and thankfully, that plan didn't work out so well.

My restlessness drives me absolutely crazy. But in reality, it is exactly what is keeping me from going crazy.